Time to Stop Running

It tends to be a habit of mine to run from things that I either don't want to deal with or am not sure how to handle. It's kind of a reoccurring theme in my life anymore. I'll get some thought or idea stuck in my head and I'll jump head first into it, but as soon as it gets tough and reaches a point when I feel like there's a possibility for me to mess things up or fail, I panic and run as far and as fast as I can in the other direction.

Lately, I've been making decisions that are changing my life a great deal. While I'm excited to be taking some time away from school to work on developing my personal ministry and to figure out where I'm headed with life, I'm realizing that this decision means that I need to learn how to grow up and deal with things. I can't go back and retract the decisions I've made to get to this point, and that scares me. I feel like I don't know how to grow up. I don't know how to be an adult. I have to figure out how to come up with a budget, and stick to it. I have to pay rent and pay my phone bill. I can't mess this up, but I'm so afraid that I somehow will. Everything in me wants to turn around and run, but I can't. This is my life now, I've made the decisions that have brought me here and there is no turning back, no matter how freaked out I am. I came to this decision because I felt like it was what God was calling me to do, and when I started to panic before even actually making the decision, the Lord took away my back up plan...I know this is where He wants me and that I made the right decision, but I'm nervous and worried. I guess this is where trusting the Lord comes into play, and I know that I've already seen His hand in this whole process and that He will work things out, but apparently my faith is pretty small and my ability to trust Him needs a lot of work. I pray that I learn to lean on Him and trust Him rather than trying to do it all on my own.